We live in an increasingly narcissistic culture. Technology has given us so many ways to express our love for ourselves. We can post pictures of ourselves on Facebook, tweet them on Twitter, share them on Instagram, or snap them on Snapchat. One of our favorite new activities is to use our smart phones to take "selfies," a word that transparently reveals our enchantment with ourselves. The more we play with our new toys, the more we become obsessed with sending our images into the ether, for all, or at least our friends, to see. We have become shameless self-promoters.
In fairness, our motivations aren't all bad. We display ourselves on social media as a way of being social. Connecting with our friends, our families, and others is a good thing. We don't just want them to see who we are and what we're doing; we also want to see them and their activities. And the selfies we enjoy most are those that include other people, not just ourselves. We are parties to a new social contract, one that says "I'll reveal some of myself to you if you will do the same for me." When other parties don't live up to their end of the bargain, we have the option of terminating the relationship. I have unfriended people on Facebook who are happy to see my posts but will never share anything of themselves. It is meant to be a two-way street.
Still, in this brave new world of instant, photographic gratification, it is easy to become self-absorbed, to be more interested in how the world sees us than in our seeing the world. While the Internet is a values-neutral tool for making connections, it is capable of reinforcing our egotistic tendencies. And although social media opens new windows to the world, sometimes it seems more like a two-way mirror; others can see in, but we only see ourselves. It should come with a warning label.
Traditional media also exacerbates this form of myopia. The Ebola crisis in Western Africa has engendered a character crisis in the United States. We have become so obsessed with one or two people who have brought Ebola into our borders, or who have returned to our country from treating Ebola victims, that we can be blind to the terrible suffering that has afflicted thousands of our fellow human beings in far-off lands. Fear rules the day, killing empathy and compassion.
I can be as guilty of these ugly traits as the next guy. And so I have adopted a new mantra that I repeat to myself at least daily. It's a simple but powerful phrase that goes: "It's not about me." Whether it's wanting publicity or recognition, or worrying about my own safety and well-being, when I take myself out of the picture I am able to see others and transfer my attention and concern to them. And when I do that, I can accomplish so much more and find so much more satisfaction than Narcissus found admiring his own reflection.
In fairness, our motivations aren't all bad. We display ourselves on social media as a way of being social. Connecting with our friends, our families, and others is a good thing. We don't just want them to see who we are and what we're doing; we also want to see them and their activities. And the selfies we enjoy most are those that include other people, not just ourselves. We are parties to a new social contract, one that says "I'll reveal some of myself to you if you will do the same for me." When other parties don't live up to their end of the bargain, we have the option of terminating the relationship. I have unfriended people on Facebook who are happy to see my posts but will never share anything of themselves. It is meant to be a two-way street.
Still, in this brave new world of instant, photographic gratification, it is easy to become self-absorbed, to be more interested in how the world sees us than in our seeing the world. While the Internet is a values-neutral tool for making connections, it is capable of reinforcing our egotistic tendencies. And although social media opens new windows to the world, sometimes it seems more like a two-way mirror; others can see in, but we only see ourselves. It should come with a warning label.
Traditional media also exacerbates this form of myopia. The Ebola crisis in Western Africa has engendered a character crisis in the United States. We have become so obsessed with one or two people who have brought Ebola into our borders, or who have returned to our country from treating Ebola victims, that we can be blind to the terrible suffering that has afflicted thousands of our fellow human beings in far-off lands. Fear rules the day, killing empathy and compassion.
I can be as guilty of these ugly traits as the next guy. And so I have adopted a new mantra that I repeat to myself at least daily. It's a simple but powerful phrase that goes: "It's not about me." Whether it's wanting publicity or recognition, or worrying about my own safety and well-being, when I take myself out of the picture I am able to see others and transfer my attention and concern to them. And when I do that, I can accomplish so much more and find so much more satisfaction than Narcissus found admiring his own reflection.
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